Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

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Redlined
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Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by Redlined »

How is it that stupid people make so much money by taking something cool and ruining it? I swear to god I just dont get it.

So, A quick run through of the F&F series.


The Fast and The Furious.

This is a movie about street racing. There is some crime in the beginning and end scenes to roll the plot along but its about the world of Street racing. It was aimed at the younger generation and thus is big, loud, flashy, and technically incorrect. however filled with tons of gorgeous cars.

To summarize, Street racing movie. Crime is involved B-


The Sequel. In being aimed at the 2 cool 4 skool crowd they named it 2 fast 2 furious.

This movie is about Feds trying to catch a Drug lord. Its a 70s police flick. Has a couple of street racing scenes that have nothing to do with the story. The (japanese) cars are gaudy and tacky and accomapnied by a bevy if cookie cutter Dodge trucks, the race scenes are poorly shot at low speeds (and I mean LOW speeds. like 30) and sped up, and also overshadowed by the many improbable car chases that the producers seem to hope will replace racing scenes.

To Summarize, Movie about crime, some street racing scenes. c-


The Fast and The furious 3: Tokyo Drift.

Actually trailing the Drift trend by several years this movie missed making a much bigger mark. The movie is, in accordance with its roots, about Street racing. There is some vague references to crime but they never go beyond "Pick up and delivery" and "Yakuza". Sexy cars and well shot race scenes make up for a weak story.

To summarize, Street racing movie with vague crime references, also arguably the best movie in the series. B+


Fast and Furious.

Part 4 though the title doesn't say it. This is a movie about drug trafiking across the USA/Mexico border and has ONE elaborate street race scene at the beginning. Also.... it has the guy they killed off in the third movie. They play this off with some scenes leading you to believe this is a prequel. Sure the cars are newer and the actors are older but it happened in the past! Really! Movie is burdened with Heavily CGId car chases through CGI tunnels and across desert tereign, once again apparently to distract from the lack of race scenes.

To summarize, a Movie about crime, has a race scene. D-

Which brings us to..


Fast 5...

At least they got the number in the title this time, This is a movie about steeling money from a drug lord. It has an actual fight scene, multipull car chases, and ONE gratuitous street race scene that has nothing to do with the story, as if to say "Look! Its still a street racing movie!" Also... the dead guy from movie three is in it, with the obligitory "still thinking about going to Tokyo" line to indicate that this STILL happened before the third movie even though they are charging around the city in thoroughly modern cars and the actors are notably older than they where in three. This movie is large, loud, and flashy. Like a WWF show... it even has "The Rock"! Seriously only for die hard fans of the series, and even then I suggest large quantities of Alcohol before viewing...

To summarize, An action movie about crime. F-



Ok. These are just my opinion and peeps are welcome to have their own opinions. But really, a franchise of street race movies (Or at least based on a street race movie) that less than half of are actually about street racing. AND (feel free to back me up on this) The LESS about street racing the movies become, (and cooincidentally the more about crime) the worse they are! You know somewhere there is an executive earning six figures trying to figure out why the series is floundering. Of course Id hate to be the one trying to figure out how to write another street racing story, but then, its not my job either.

And I will personally buy everyone a round when the movie industry stops depleting the world supply of classic cars by smashing them up in their movies.

So.... theres THAT out of my system /rant off .
Last edited by Redlined on Sat May 07, 2011 6:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by evolutionmovement »

Two Lane Blacktop. Nothing else captures it. I'm not sure anything else REALLY tries to.

For my books, in case the lottery winning ticket of having them made into movies happens, I made sure the driving is as realistic as possible and rare and classic cars aren't destroyed (though a few fake Ducheses would probably have to be smashed). The second book as a movie would be the only film that I can think of to contain a 68-70 Charger and not destroy it.
Midnight in a Perfect World on Amazon or order anywhere. The first book in a quartet chronicling the rise of a man from angry criminal to philanthropist. Midnight... is a distopic noirish novel featuring 'Duchess', a modified 1990 Subaru Legacy wagon.
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by Redlined »

I ever tell you your my hero?
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by beatersubi »

Wait.

We can have our own opinion?

Thanks, man.
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by SILINC3R »

So i guess you didn't see the end in which case there will be a 6th...yes a 6th. and it has the cop girl from the 2nd one and Toretto's girlfriend. Cant wait to see it lol. even if they are dumb i will of course go to see them since i grew up watching them just like harry potter books taught me to read. kind of sucks that younger kids dont get to experience the kind of movie like the 1st one though.
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by Redlined »

Didnt see that... le sigh. Im sure Ill end up seeing it too. Just... I dont know. i like the series for the races, I go back and watch 1 and 3 again and again for the race scenes.

If you like it, you like it. No shame in having your own opinion. I was real tired and kinda venting when I wrote this.
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by Aerotech »

I never liked the F&F series, tho I like Vin Diesel.
The Transporter movies, however, I enjoy thoroughly... great driving, fairly witty writing, & Statham is a believable anti-hero.
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by kimokalihi »

Meh, fast and furious sucked from day 1. The first one was almost ok. Maybe if you took out paul walker and if they didn't blow everything out of proportion and be realistic with the cars.

The first transporter was good but that was it. Jason Statham is going downhill quick. The last several movies he's been in were awful and he's really not that good of an actor.
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by 93forestpearl »

They probably don't have much street racing in them since street racing isn't exciting enough to make whole movies about it.
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by TBFK »

I loved how Paul Walker raced on the free way in reverse, some of the Honda's would burn out with their rear tires, and how they can go through 10 different gears as well. Or when they work on their cars, their hands are clean? When does that happen?? lol.
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by kimokalihi »

You think paul walker would work on a car if his hands were going to get dirty!?!? lol Yeah reverse at 60+ mph ha.
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by TBFK »

Lol, I wish I was cool like Paul Walker, and could drive like him and never get dirty when I work on cars! HAHA!!
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by Legacy777 »

I did enjoy your F&F synapsis.....and while I don't necessarily disagree with the poor acting, make believe race scenes, and questionable plot comments, the movies are made to make money....that's the bottom line. They are 100% entertainment. If you go into a movie with that in mind, you tend to have a better outlook on it when you leave. If you go in expecting something, usually you are disappointed.

I do agree that Tokyo Drift is probably the best one out of the series. However I think the second one was the worst so far. I think you see more attempts at a plot because the studio is also trying to broaden range of audience attendance. A buddy of mine had not seen the 4th movie and he came over and watched it last Saturday. We'll probably go see the 5th one just because :)
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Re: Fast Five, Or, An exercise in pattern recognition.

Post by Redlined »

Yeah I head you. Mostly ranting. And yeah... Im sure ill end up seeing the sixth as well.

My point was mainly (in my opinion) the movies where following a pattern, race movie, pretty good, Crime movie that sucked. Race movie that was pretty good, Crime movie that sucked, etc etc. Now. I did go see the movies, I watched them all the way through. I was entertained. job done. I sat through even the worse of the movies and gained a certain amount of entertainment from it so when I say they sucked. I mean comparatively.

There have been movies that I didnt make 15 minutes without walking out on. those are movies that truly earn the rating of suck.
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