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I hate to do a woe is me thread (especially on a car board) but I thought maybe if I let it out it will be therapudic or something. I don't know.

My life is going to shit lately, really bad. My stress level is through the roof and my anxiety is so high I've been having chest pains. I was actually on the phone ordering a new motor (finally) when my wife clicked in to let me know that her place of employement is going under and she won't have a job after the 15th of this month. No motor now. Just in time for the holidays too! Wooohooo!

My internet has been turned off because I can't pay my bills. It's back on now but I don't know for how much longer. I'm living off my credit cards (only have $500 left on the one now and then I'm really fucked) and my job sucks. There isn't any work around here and I have no prospects. If thing don't turn around soon I may have to part out Subarina just to pay my bills.

My marraige is on the rocks. My wife is scared out of her mind that we're going to lose our house or something. She obsess's about it constantly and I've pretty much emotionally checked out which makes her resent me even more. I have no social life any more. Most of our friends don't even bother to call us anymore because we never end up going out because we don't have a baby sitter and even if we did we couldn't really offord to pay the sitter and go play. Hell I haven't even seen a movie in an actual movie theater (except Disney flicks with my daughter) in probably 6 years. I'm going mad...

I usually don't like to do any woe is me on the board but damn, my life is fucked up right now and I'm starting to lose it. My kids are the only thing keeping me going right now but I'm afraid that if something doesn't break for me soon even that won't be enough to face the day. Depression is an evil thing and it's little claws are sinking there way into my mind, deep into my mind.

I really wish I could just go for a drive right now, a long drive....

Matt, you have my number. Please give me a call if you ever need to talk, or if there is anything I can ever do to help you. You're a great friend, and I hate to see a friend in trouble. I'm here for you man, just give me a call.

Sorry to hear of the troubles Matt. Don't ever feel bad about asking for help.

Lemme ask, do you have any extra parts sitting around in your garage that can fetch a couple bucks? You'd be surprised what you can make just selling some odds and ends, it might keep you going for a while until you find better employment or something...

But yeah, don't hesitate to ask if you need help. We're all here for you.

Hey Matt, I know what's up. Life's shit sometimes. But you'll make it; you're a go-getter, no matter who's our president, which, if you're really angry, put it all off on him. There's a reason our economy is shit, and it puts hardworking people like yourself out in the rain, sometimes literally. But use your friends around here, and where you're at, you'll be okay, I feel it.
At this time of year, I would say that most everyone is feeling just a bit desperate. That's what happens to the lower middle class during this season. Do the little things to make your wife understand that you still love her with all your heart. (Tears even help, too.) Hold her hand, cuddle her..(if she's that kinda girl) Even some really good sex might change things. But when it comes to things like this, y'all need to be workin' together --ain't no sense ripping things worse than they are. And maybe The Lord is testing you, because it's time to be tested.
Everything happens for a reason, now you just need to find that reason, and find a way out.
You can make it all better, Matt, I'm pulling for you. We're all pulling for you.

no matter who's our president, which, if you're really angry, put it all off on him.

I second this, I blame everything on him.

This economy is unbelievable. Cyclical, OK, but that means at some point it's supposed to get better. This is why I understand some criminals - when society doesn't provide you with a chance to feed yourself under its rules, you no longer have a responsibility to follow them. I considered dealing drugs, but don't have the connections or entreprenurial sense for it.

Steve

Been there, Matt. Since I don't know all the details of what's going on, I'll just offer up a bit of advice from what I do know.


I've recently discovered that I can turn myself around by becoming somewhat of a minimalist. Now that term is VERY relative, so I'll leave it up to everyone to interpret that. For me, it meant getting rid of things I either don't use regularly, have never used, or really can't afford to keep using. I've simplified my life to a few interests that I'm very passionate about, but don't require a bunch of money to enjoy. In getting rid of things, I'm getting some money back to either spend for the holidays, or to reduce and eliminate some of the debt I've incurred as a result of buying said things in the first place.

This doesn't work for everyone. . . because if you're simply not making enough money to live one, regardless of debts, then that's another issue. I've been there, too. . . and did exactly what you're doing. . . I went further into debt. I've never had kids, so anything I say that would require more of your time would just sound silly. . . I know you can't spare much more than you already give to your current job. Hopefully your wife can find some work in the very near future . . . as I'm sure that would help more than anything at the moment.

I would consider looking for a job that pays more money after the holidays, though. It's really hard in this day and age to make it with one income and children at the same time, but it's still best for the children in the early years to have at least one parent at home the majority of the time. (Both parents working just means that a huge chunk of the second income gets sucked-up by daycare costs, etc.) Once both children are old enough to come home from school and spend an hour or two at home before parentals come home from work, then a second income suddenly becomes so much easier to work out.

Perhaps I'm oversimplifying things. . . it's my nature to encourage through ideals and let the person I'm talking to sort things out. . . rather than give very specific details that I must rely on said person to feed me. Either way, I can only say that anything I suggest is only as useful as anyone wants to make it.

That said, wish for the best, plan for the worst, and consider that some things MUST change for your life to improve.

We're all here for you, Matt.

Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I'm trying to keep my chin up and just go with it but it's getting hard. It just seems like one disappointment after another...

I notice that my spelling is god awful in my first post too.

subyluvr2212 wrote:Sorry to hear of the troubles Matt. Don't ever feel bad about asking for help.

Lemme ask, do you have any extra parts sitting around in your garage that can fetch a couple bucks? You'd be surprised what you can make just selling some odds and ends, it might keep you going for a while until you find better employment or something...

But yeah, don't hesitate to ask if you need help. We're all here for you.

Thanks. I do actually have some stuff for sale. Here's the link.

http://bbs.legacycentral.org/viewtopic. ... 2881#62881

Just hang in there man... in matters where faith is involved, it alway's pay's to hang in there a little longer -you never know what'sa around the corner. Seriously...
Been right where you are, am right where you are. Job is in the can for the next month (skilled tradesman here; weather and parent corperation are restructuring until Feb. Yay!), and I have no prospects...
I have a 5 month old and a hungry 6 year old in addition to a stressed out ex. Life is good!
However, if it means working a grunt job at the local Try n' Save for a while, I'm going to do it. Humility is merely a mental obstacle.
All things are temporary brother. Just hang in there as long as you can: your situation is bound to change. I'll be praying for you man.

Thanks Bob. I'm hangin' in there. I'm really trying to keep a good, upbeat attitude but it's hard. Good things happen to good people though and I like to believe I'm a good person.

Well, they extended the close date at my wifes bussiness. It looks like she'll at least work until Jan. 15th now which is cool. After that we're not sure but the old president of the company may start up a new bussiness (doing the same stuff) and rumor has it that she wants my wife to come work for her. It may even turn into a high position for her if everything works out. I don't want to get a head of myself though, so as far as I'm concerened my wife will be unemployed in Jan. That's what I'm planning for anyways. That way if she doesn't we're ready (as ready as can be anyways). If she ends up getting the new job then that will just be great and solve a lot of problems.

Way to go! I always try to prepare for the worst while (sometimes) expecting the best.

Steve

hey Matt,
I realize it's been a while since I talked to you guys but I was just browsing through the forums (I've been lurking a lot) but I finally made my way over to the ashtray and saw this thread. I'm sorry to hear things aren't going that well but it's good to see things might be looking up now. Anyway I'm in the locality and I get 50% off pizza from Papa John's so if thats needed in any way just tell me.

Hoping for the best,
Sam