Throw in the towel?

[legacy92ej22t]

I'm feeling incredibly sorry for myself right now it's disgusting. I fell asleep at around 10:00 pm no problem but now I'm up again and I can't shut my mind off and get back to sleep. I've been having insomnia off and on because my car has me so fucking stressed out. I can't seem to catch a break at all. So many sleepless nights. This whole situation is fucked. Where is everyone? I can't seem to get any one to help me. I'm one of those guys that really tries to be there when people need it and it seems like I never get it in return. I don't blame or get angry with anyone, people have lives and are busy, I can understand that, but damn, it sucks to always go it alone. I watch my kids all day during the week, then go work all night, then work both days on the weekend, then when I get a day off I'm working on this cock sucking fucking car! Alone, in the dark on a cold cement, dirty floor. I need it back on the road. I was supposed to have it on the road weeks ago but the replacememnt engine was fucked up so I had to address that, now I'm stuck because I can't really do anymore work until I swap the engines and I can't get anyone to come help me do it. I mean I can get another body there, maybe, but I need someone that has a clue when it comes to this shit. Just having another body there isn't ewnough and can actually be counter productive. I'm so fucking upset. Why? Where is everyone? This whole situation is consuming me. It's hurting my marriage, and my family. I need help. I get no help. No help. Why?

Should I throw in the towel? Should I part the bitch out? Oh wait, I can't really do that because I have no place to part it out at! Hehehe, isn't that great? Maybe I should just open the garage door and let everyone just come grab my shit, bet some people would show up then, aye? Maybe I should just scrap it. Give up. LEave the bbs, buy a fucking Honda with a 4eat (so my wife can drive it, yay! ) and live on rice. Better yet....nothing. Nothing, that's what I got. I think I'm losing it. Losing the fight. Have nothing left. What to do? Really, what? What would you do? Actually, this probably wouldn't happen to you because people would pull together and help you out. Maybe I'm the bastard son, but I know my dada so that makes no sense...but then again does any of it really make sense in the end? I think not. FUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!! I'm so screwed.

[BAC5.2]

Matt - I'll put in and take the next weekend I can off should be NEXT weekend, after this coming one, and come up to help the swap, if that would be helpful.

I'll call tomorrow and take off that weekend.

I'm there for you man, I really am. It's difficult to get off work for a weekend, but I'll see what I can do. If it were possible for me to get off work for this weekend, I would. I don't even think the death in the family card would play on that one though .

[edit]Whoops, clicked submit instead of preview....[/edit]

Matt, please. Don't give up. Don't throw in the towel. She will be back on the road, and things will be back to normal soon. You've stuck it out this far, why stop now?

Matt, from the bottom of my heart, you are a true friend. Call me if you need. E-mail. PM. Messenger pigeon. Anything, and I'll be there to be a friend to you like you have to me. I'll fight to take off this weekend if necessary, and I might be able to get off next weekend if I can't get off this one.

Do not give up man, you are WAY to strong for that shit.

In the words of Dylan Thomas;

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[legacycontinues]

three thousand posts and you are going to walk away? Maybe sell it to someone on the board and then get another car. I'm not saying you have to buy another subaru, just make sure you drives something you like.

I was going through the same thing when the engine went on my legacy but I decided to just drop a newer engine in and keep the dream alive. It really sucks because I don't have the new engine yet and this is my daily driver. We are borrowing my mother-in-laws car so I have to drive her to and from work on a daily basis so I can use it. PITA!!

I bought the DL but I haven't picked it up yet. Hopefuly this weekend. Owner says it needs a headgasket but he confessed to me it overheated when he got it from a lady friend of his, he drove it a few miles, parked it, and never looked at it since. Now she is mine.

Keep your head up. Everything will work out in the end.

[skid542]

Hang in there Matt, don't give up. No matter what it's still just a car (it's just a car, doesn't sound right does it?). Frustrations have a tendancy to spread to other aspects of life as you said but they don't have to. Take a break from the car, I know this isn't wholey possible, but the next time you have a day off, don't work on your car, go do something else that you enjoy. Once you get yourself centered again, then go back to the car. No material possesion is worth straining family and marriage.

Also, don't leave the BBS, we'd miss you. I know what it means to be there for everyone and then turn around to see yourself standing alone, do understand that nobody here is intentionally leaving you alone. I live in southwest virginia and my hopes of meeting so many of the cool people on this board, including you, really isn't all that high realistically. If I lived up in PA I'd offer a weekend to help though. I'd love the chance to spend the weekend working on my car and chillin with you guys. But like I said, don't feel singled out or that we're trying to leave you standing in the cold. We all honestly want to see you get your baby up and going again but judging from the post activity or lack thereof from some, I'd say a lot of people are pretty busy right now and don't have much free time theirselves.

I guess I've rambled through this post but I hope the point got across. Hang in there Matt, it will get better and know we're pulling for you.

[entirelyturbo]

Better times will come Matt. Shit, look how many times I've said I gave up and put my car up for sale or left this board. Yet I always find a way to keep my car and stay active here.

These cars require patience and hard work, but dammit they sure do repay you for it.

I wish I wasn't like 2000 miles away otherwise I'd be more than happy to help

[THAWA]

I know the feeling. Quit looking at the negatives. There are much worse situations you could be in.

[scottzg]

If i wasn't on the other side of the country, i'd be all over that bish with help. Hell, i'd let ya borrow my car as long as you need it, as im not using it for a few months.

I was able to swap out and in my engine solo w/o a lift- it is possible, if rather difficult.

You're rebuilding the BJ engine, right? So good things are to follow once it has found its new home. The only thing between you and the freshness is time.

I find workin on cars (esp longer term projects that i dont expect to drive away from) to be a very zen experience. There's nothing but the usual chill in the air and the clinking of tools against metal. Maybe do some unbolting, and if ya get stuck, or you have to lift something ugly, go back to bed, or get a sandwich, or get 2 sandwiches, go nuts!

You've got a huge ass community (thats development is a fair bit your creation) e-behind you.

[Kelly]

Sorry your feeling that way Matt. Sucks. Sounds like you need a vacation.

I never talked about this much, but the week before Christmas, my house burned down, I almost died, and I lost everything I own. EVERYTHING! I was unemployed, and my GF and I broke up. My family is pretty much out of the picture, but my friends, many of whom I know through the internet, were there for me. They offered me help, and I could either take it, or be homeless. I took it.

Funny how life always seems to deal you bad shit in cycles. Some years are good(although you never really appreceate them at the time) and some years are bad. Sometimes years are good and bad, but they are always years. Years of experiance, and its the tough shit that hardens us for the years to come.

I dont know how old you are, or exactly what you've been through in life, and Im certianlly in no positition to be telling who to do what. All Im sayin is I feel ya, and you've got my support, for what its worth.

[dzx]

If your having problems sleeping because of stress, try taking half of a xanax pill. That's what i use. As for the car, just take your time and dont worry about hurrying it along, it'll be less stressful for you if you just figure on it taking time. Good luck with it.

-Dan

[Tleg93]

I'd like to help you but I'm usually working when you aren't and vice versa. My schedule is usually packed tight. Sorry if I've let you down, I didn't mean to if I did. I've been having my own issues as you know. If I get some time not that it's warming up a bit I'd more than willing to help. The last time I was over it simply too damn cold for me to be comfortable, sorry.

[tris91ricer]

Dammit.. Matt, I wrote you a long-ass, very funny poem to lift your spirits.
Guess what happened to it?
..While refreshing the preview, the BBS somehow lost it.
The point was, you'll be okay, and I'm praying for you, and we're all pulling for you, and now that you've got our attention, ask away, we're here to help!

I love you man!!

-=tristan

ps, I'm tryna get that poem back.. stupid computers. Josh, Dave, THAWA, if you're reading this, I previewed it 11tybillion times, cause it was long, so if it's in a cache somewhere, you wanna PM or mail it to me?

[evolutionmovement]

How much work did the BJ engine need? I thought you were just swapping blocks. Do you have a lift?

If you were 2 or 3 hours closer, I'd help you on a weekend and lend you my lift if you need it.

I think most of us have felt this way with the car at some point, but you have more on the line than I do. And I know how you feel about halping others and getting abandoned when you need something. Very few people are there when I need them (and none of them are unrelated women).

Steve

[THAWA]

Sorry Tristan, but they don't call me quasi-mod-o for no reason. Can't do anything.

[legacy92ej22t]

Thanks guys. It's funny but I barely remember posting that last night. That's the funny thing about insomnia, you're awake but not concious. I feel a bit better today. I'm still bumming but I'm not feeling manic like I was. Thanks for the uplifting comments guys.

[corsair]

Glad to hear it Matt, you're a good guy. I wish I knew more about a swap so I could help out more. If you need someone to hold your beer and hand wrenches to you, Phil, Vikash, or whomever shows up I'm game.

[BAC5.2]

Yea, Matt, good to hear!

Let me know if next weekend would be cool. I'll take off.

[QuickDrive]

I only WISH all ya'll, including Matt, Phil, Vickash, Steve, Other Matt, Jake, etc etc were close enough that I could lend a hand and learn and teach at the same time.

This board has been Key to my cars life.

I feel for you Matt, sometimes there just aren't enough people around..and no time to do anything.

Hang in there Bro.

[Tleg93]

I'm glad you're feeling better about it. If it makes you fell better nobody gives a flying fuck about me, my car, my situation or anything. All you have to do is bitch a little bit and everyone wants to come to the rescue. It must be nice to have people who give a shit.

[corsair]

Simple Scott, thats because you weren't at the shootout and I haven't meet you in person. However from what I do know is you're a good guy who, like many other people on here is in an absolutely shitty stage of his life. People always say you have to wait for things to get better, but they're wrong. Making things better isn't about waiting, it's about understanding and realizing where you are in life and what you have to do to make it better. I probably screwed myself in the long run by not caring enough about school this year, blowing classes, failing calc, whatever. At least you're in a spot in your life where you know your options. If there is a get together at Matt's anytime soon you should show, I think you'd realize how much this forum is more than a forum, more like a family. Except for Art and Laurel, we don't allow incest here.

[Tleg93]

Don't mean to bitch, it just sucks to be me these days. I know you have your own troubles, Matt, I was just trying to make you feel better by letting you know that there's someone out there whose less lucky than you are.

Corsair - Thanks man

[evolutionmovement]

OK, this will suck, but this restorative artist that did some work at the House of Seven Gables where my mother works just died of a brain tumor. For the last few weeks he couldn't wait to die for the pain he felt. His last wish (unmarried, no kids) as he lay dying in his ex-girlfriend's house where she lives with her family was for another ex to hold him in bed. He was only in his mid thirties and really gifted. Sorry to pull that kind of shit, there are probably even more unlucky people you all know, but my mother just told me, so it kind of made me think. On the bright side, friends from all over the world visited him and he'd been all over and done some cool stuff, but for me that makes me think even more - I've done some shit I can look back on with pride, too. We all have, I'm sure. Just can't forget that and draw strength from it.

My humble reflective opinion. Sorry it had to follow a post by you, Scott. It's in no means aimed as an insult or anything and I hope it doesn't come across that way to anyone.

Steve

[dzx]

hmm, manic is fun and can be quite useful, depression however is bad.

Best way i can describe my manic swing is your the greatest thing, and the world is a pos.
Depression is the world is fine but your a pos.

[Tleg93]

No, it wasn't seen as an insult but if I understand correctly you're pointing out that it can always be worse. True, it can be worse. I guess I shouldn't complain and besides this is Matt's tirade and he's over it.

*Quietly removes thunder from pocket and gives it back to the thread*

[legacy92ej22t]

Phil- Thanks man, you're a good friend.

I'm going to actually try and do the swap myself today....it's my day off. We'll see how it goes, I may get it in.

Skid, Micheal, Scottzg, Dan, Sam- Thanks guys.

Kelly- That sucks bro! I didn't know that. I'm sorry.

Thanks for the support.

Steve- Well besides the cam sprocket (thanks you!), timing belt, and timing belt covers, it needed the entire coolant systems switched over, the entire PCV system switched over, the IAC switched over, all the sensors switched over, the wiring harness switched over and about 1-2" of sand/oil/road grime/dead Cicadas cleaned off. I still need to swap over my flywheel, CES up-pipe and cross-pipe and stuff too. It's never ending!

[legacy92ej22t]

I'd like to help you but I'm usually working when you aren't and vice versa. My schedule is usually packed tight. Sorry if I've let you down, I didn't mean to if I did. .

I know, I understand, you haven't let me down.

I'm glad you're feeling better about it. If it makes you fell better nobody gives a flying fuck about me, my car, my situation or anything. All you have to do is bitch a little bit and everyone wants to come to the rescue. It must be nice to have people who give a shit.

Whaa? Tim just helped you swap your turbos last week. John was going to try to help you with the PS pump. I've tried to help when I can, I know it hasn't been much besides moral support and advice lately but I've tried. You have people who care. I care.

Now, this is my "feel sorry for me" thread, so go get your own!

J/K. Hehehe. You know you're my boy, mang.