legacycentral bbs

So last semester (fall semester, I'm in a junior college) I met a really great girl in my chemistry class. We chatted occasionally after class and got along pretty well. It was getting near the end of the semester and I figured I'd ask her out on the last day of class, that way I'd avoid any awkwardness of seeing her in class if she said no.

anyway, I ask her out on the last day and she says yes. She sounded excited and all and after we exchanged numbers I had to be off to catch my next class. While walking away she said "call me" in a sort of flirty voice. So I was feelin pretty good. I wait a day or two then give her a call, she tells me she'll be busy the following week with relatives visiting so its a no go to hand out.

Thats chill, we've only just met so that seems reasonable.

Next week we arrange to meet up monday evening for dinner. Meet around 6pm-ish, eat, talk, everything seems to be going good. We've got plenty in common etc etc, we eventually agree on going hiking in the near future... So we finish up and I pay the bill even tho she suggested going dutch (F that man, I'm a gentlemen) and we stroll outside.

She had to take off early as she still lives at home (we are 19) and her parents a protective (or so she says)

A couple days go by, I text her every once in a while and try giving her a call a few times, she responds via text a couple times and I begin to notice she is pretty bad at getting back to me. "ok ok" I think, she says she is pretty busy so thats chill, whatever...

To shorten things up a bit, the last couple weeks have been rather droll, as every time I ask her out or suggest a date she has a reason she cannot make it. Ok, now its a little (or a lot) suspicious. Yet every time I talk to her she sounds bummed about not getting to hang out which makes me think she is interested, but like I said before, something is fishy. So I'm on facebook like any bored 19yr old (lol) and I say "hey why dont I look her up and add her as a friend, maybe i can get in contact better that way." So I add her as a friend, wait a day or so, go back to her page and now its set to private.. (yes I realize this is on the verge of stalker status but really it was just an experiment as actual communication isnt working) so now I'm like wtf?

Oh and this week her mom is having gallbladder surgery (or so she says). And she has to take care of her so she cant hang out

Anyway, its been a fucking month and we havent hung out, and I'm bored with this crap even tho I've yet to come to a definitive conclusion, but it seems like she doesn't want to continue a relationship. Which is totally fine, but why the F cant she just say it.

bullshit I say, utter lameness.


CN: Ask girl out, she acts interested. Over a month goes by without hanging out but with plenty of excuses why she cant make it. Now I'm like wtf and annoyyed

I can empathize with you, I used to be quite affected by the 'craziness' of girls


Things to consider:

trust your instincts, if she wanted to make time, she would make time. If she doesn't want to make time, it isn't worth your time.

girls are fundamentally different than guys, you've heard this before but over time it will sink in and you'll really start to accept it as true

some girls are cool, and some are not, but most teenagers aren't good at being assertive or straightforward. if she changed her mind (and it wouldn't require something reasonable at all because remember girls are not accountable to reason) it would be 'normal' for her to try and ditch you without a confrontation

You sound a lot like me, in fact especially so at that age, but I've learned a lot since then.

You're trying too hard, you won't change her mind this way, she'll just get used to saying no, and sick of you talking to her so much. Your best chance is to just stop talking to her, if she's interested she'll call you(really). You honestly should have stopped after 2 tries at most, at that point she's just making excuses, if you stop though she might wonder why you stopped, and start to doubt herself.

Girls are just like this, they don't want to be mean, so they make up excuses, without realizing that it's worse than just telling us in the first place.

One more tip, never be the last one to say something if you're texting or talking online or whatever, if it means not answering a text then so be it, it will bug the crap out of her, in a good way.

I know it feels like if you keep trying it will work, but in reality it takes the fun out of it for her, and she'll lose interest, you need to get HER interested, make her wonder why you aren't trying very hard, if you do this then she is now in your shoes, trying to get you to go out with her and all confused about what you think of her.

And yes, I know it's harder than it sounds, hell, I screwed up just a half hour ago, not sure if it ruined anything, but definitely a screw up, I'm talkng to her on facebook and I said something wrong, actually a few things, now I'm hoping she'll say something again so I can leave her hangin and go to sleep, haha.

One last thing, the guy above me is 100% correct as well.

ok, here is her perspective.

met a guy in class.
he "seemed" nice so why not go out on a date.
went on 1 date.
guy will not stop calling me and can't take a hint.
guy is stalking me on facebook and wont stop texting me.

I know this might sound harsh but thats what she's saying to her friends. The best advice I can give you to survive your twenties in the dating world is to not try so hard like someone mentioned in a previous post. Look at it this way. If this chic is cute which she must be if you were interested then just imagine how many other fools are calling and texting her on a daily basis. If you are doing it also then you just fall into that group. If you don't call her or text her you will actually stand out as "hey why hasn't that guy called me? Wow, he must date hotter and better girls than me so he must be a good catch because why else wouldn't he call me?" You not calling starts a vicious cycle of insecurty which ultimately ends in a text to you.

I have to say that I used to be the biggest asshole you ever met towards women when I was in my 20's and I never got so much ass. Of course being incredibly handsome and driving a station wagon helps lol. But seriously, the easiest way to not contact a girl when you like her is to focus on another girl. Then before you know it, the first one will be calling you. Trust me.

As the others have said, stop wasting your time, and don't try so hard. She's not interested in you, so stop being interested in her.

Don't go chasing after women... make women come chasing after you.

Forget that bitch, there's a few billion others.

brand wrote:Forget that bitch, there's a few billion others.

Best response so far IMO. It's easy to forget just how many other women are out there. Life's way too short to waste time chasing a stillborn relationship...

Imprezive, you must be my twin or some shit, but dude i got the same problems and its fucking bullshit.

You guys are rght, in my defense I was only textng her a couple times a week. I think I might just call her out, at this point I just want a conclusin cuz it's freakin annoying.

I say bother. It's not worth your time.

Get your fishing pole back out!

Fuggit, I'm gonna go ride my new supermoto

Don't even look for a conclusion or answer or anything. That's just wasting your time more. Just pretend like she doesn't even exist.

Delete her off your Facebook, delete her number out of your phone, and forget all about her.

You have to make them work for it a little bit. I'm dead serious. Women like a little chase. They absolutely do not like guys that smother them, or even hint at it.

Some call it confidence, some call it asshole. It is what it is. It took me a long time to learn that women don't like the super nice guys that kiss the ground they walk on.

/end thread. I'm over it. It just bugged me so I had to bitch a little.

Bitching is good......guys tend to like to vent....it's a good way to clear our brains. We tend to be more logical....and that's just how we are made.

Women are the complete fucking opposite in most cases. There's a lot of good advice in the posts above. Guys want closure/conclusions to things....we are logical. Women are not.

I turn 30 in about a week.....and my personal opinion is that dating in your 20's is just a bunch of shit. Too much BS and fake crap. As you get older, both woman & men tend to let go of some of the fake BS stuff.

Don't force something....just let it ride. If something happens, it happens.

Imprezive wrote:You guys are rght, in my defense I was only textng her a couple times a week. I think I might just call her out, at this point I just want a conclusin cuz it's freakin annoying.

Don't do it, it can only make things worse. If you want ANY chance, just give up now. You already have a conclusion, you just don't realize it. I know it's hard, I would do the same thing as you, but you really shouldn't, it has never worked out for me, and I've been in the situation countless times. Even if you can get her to do something, she will do it to get you to stop bothering her, and she'll just be sour about it the whole time, which again, won't help.

Your best bet is to forget about it, she may call you, she may not, but ignoring her will make her wonder why you're ignoring her.

^ X 1000000

so.... I should go gay? Seems like the most logical solution




ps - no way in hell ^^

The most logical solution is to simply learn from the experience and move on.

Yeaahhhh. But I have to disagree with magicmike, if no one started dating until they were 30 then there would be a bunch of inept 30 yr olds instead of 20 yr olds

Now that would be funny!

Imprezive wrote:Yeaahhhh. But I have to disagree with magicmike, if no one started dating until they were 30 then there would be a bunch of inept 30 yr olds instead of 20 yr olds

What are you talking about. I was reffering to dating ALOT

Sorry, must have misread your post. I am using my iPhone and it's a pain in the ass to scroll back and forth reading stuff

There's some good advice in this thread. I like to put it this way: men have projects, and women have men.

Dynamic Entry wrote:
girls are fundamentally different than guys, you've heard this before but over time it will sink in and you'll really start to accept it..

truth