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Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 6:53 pm
by kimokalihi
A couple years back I bought a used bmx bike from a "friend" I went to school with for many years. Then I decided I wanted a better bike so I built another one myself and shortly afterwards he comes back wanting his bike back. I gave him $200 originally for it and then he only had $40 so I gave him the bike and he was supposed to pay me the rest in a week. This never happened.
Fast forward a year and a half and one day I realize he still owes me $160 and I had forgotten about it. I got his number from another friend who said he's been buying beer all the time and partying it up with money he owes me. So I paid him a visit at his parent's house and he gave me $20 and said he'd pay me in a week. That never happened. I kept playing phone tag with him and he kept making excuses why he couldn't come up with the money. Blah blah blah.
I forgot about it again, until now. I'm starting to get pissed off. So I was talking to my friend who sees him once in a while and he just told me the kid just bought a new bike at the bike shop. WTF??!! Nothing pisses me off more than someone owing me money and blowing me off and then spending money without paying me back. GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
What should I do? I'm gonna lose my fuckin mind if this guy doesn't pay me my $140 soon!
I can't even sleep right now. I don't know if it's because I'm furiated about this or because I drank a coffee flavored chocolate milk 4 hours ago after working out at the gym. Or both. But now I'm not going to sleep today and will go back to work with 0 sleep tonight. Great. At least the subaru dealership just called and said my radiator bushings are in so I'll have something to do. Tonight is gonna suck.
Anyways, I'm thinking about getting his parent's number and calling them up and asking them to help me out. That's the safest plan I've been able to come up with but I have never met them before and they don't know me so that will be akward but whatever it takes.
Thanks in advance for any ideas.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 7:37 pm
by evolutionmovement
I once had to roll up in a threatening manner on a friend and demanded some money owed by the degenerate. He paid me, but he never talked to me again. But he was a fun kid and it wasn't worth the $100 bucks or whatever it was in the end. Ever since, I always consider money to people I like as a gift. They pay me back great, they don't? Oh well, I would never give more than I could afford to lose in the first place (but they'll probably never get any more from me).
But if the kid's annoying, I'm reminded of A Bronx Tale when the kid asks advice of his mob boss mentor about another kid who owes him money and is always ducking out on him, likely looking for a go ahead to beat the kid up. The mob boss asks if he liked the guy, to which the kid replied that he didn't. The mob boss told him to look at it like he had just paid $20 (or whatever the amount was) to never have to deal with him again. I think in this case it sounds like you just paid to learn what a deadbeat the kid is.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 7:42 pm
by sqc151
dont let it bother u man, move on. friends like that arent worth losing sleep over. ive been burned by 2 so-called friends and i just move on. i found out one of them that owes me money buys drugs and is jobless. people like that i just dont talk to anymore cause they have no repect for anyone, not even themselves. take it as a learning lesson thats all.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 7:51 pm
by kimokalihi
Man that's tough. It's not even the money although I could use the money. What's really pissing me off is he has no respect to call me once in a while and tell me what's up or give me $20 here and there. No, he just avoids me and doesn't answer calls or texts or myspace. If he was a friend it would be a different story. But he's not. He's a piece of shit. I don't like being treated like that and I don't think I can let it go.
He's laughing his ass off because he's out there spending my money and he thinks he's gettin away with it. If he was flat broke I guess that wouldn't be so bad but who the hell is that broke for over 2 years? He's certainly not. He just bought a brand new bike which surely cost far more than what he owes me which is just rubbing it in my face. Even though he isn't aware that I know this. I did send him a text this morning once I found out but I'm not even sure if he has the same number anymore.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 9:11 pm
by sqc151
one of my (so-called) friends ive known for 7 yrs now. he borrowed money from me and since that day hes avoided me. and get this, its only 100 bucks, not 1000, not 10,000. but all of 100 bucks and he ruins a friendship over it. i still see him once and while and when i do his tail is between his legs. this is just the definition of a loser and will always be a loser.
i have more fun with it cause everytime i see him now, ive got the upper hand.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 9:29 pm
by evolutionmovement
It sucks, but being the bigger person is letting it go. Right now, just you dwelling on it is letting him win. You can move on and forget about him after getting burned helping who you thought was a friend—nothing to be ashamed of and you can always look at yourself in the mirror. That said, who wouldn't want to beat the bag out of someone like that? Damn laws! But if it's any consolation, he has to live with being a douchebag every day and you can be sure it will wear on him one way or another either through other people screwing him over in turn, ending up with no friends (because someone like that will screw everyone over at some point), or just living with self loathing.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:08 pm
by kimokalihi
I guess you guys are right. I still want to call his parents up and let them know he's screwing me and maybe they'll pay me or get the money out of him.
At least that's legal. If they even care. I found them in the whitepages online but it doesn't list a number.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 2:24 am
by Grayguy
I wouldn't bother his parents, I would feel like a whiney bitch if I did that. One of my friends owes me $100 for injectors I sold him 2 months ago, and just dropped about $10k on a car...and I've seen him buy about $2-3K worth of stuff for his other car. It's starting to annoy me, but really when it comes down to it, he's probably helped me with $100 worth of stuff, so I'm not about to ruin a friendship over it.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 3:13 am
by gijonas
Not sure how old you are,and i realize a 100 bucks is something,but that is really nothing considering the lesson you get out of it.Ive had similar situations and let me tell you if it were over only a hundred dollars i would be happy.By the time you get the money your time invested will make it not worth it anyways,besides like you said you did forget about the money once already.Do it again.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:00 pm
by Legacy777
Like others have mentioned, it's just not worth your time and emotional distress. Just put it behind you and move on.
I think everyone's got a similar story, whether it be friend, family, etc.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 9:35 pm
by Redlined
Just to spin the lightside. My best friend joined the Army straight out of highschool. Hes leaving town with nothing but the shirt on his back so I toss him $50. He gets deployed to Germany, and decides he likes it so much he stays after his tour of duty is over. We keep in contact. The loan becomes a running joke with us. I dont expect the money back, but its fun to rib eachother about it. The one day, years later, I get a overseas delivery. He sent me $50 worth of Dutchmark!
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:14 pm
by John Drivesabox
Ill go ahead and throw in 2 pieces of info that may be useful. Just keep in mind, as a Navy drill instructor ive had to deal with hundreds of shitheads over the years.
1. Don't take it personally, hes probably a turd all over. I doubt he takes a time consuming pleasure in what hes done to you.
2. If a kid is a shitbag, his parents are usually no better. They probably could give a shit less about you or your $100.
I would just chalk this one up to experience, as its already been said, life lessons are usually worth a few bucks. Besides, if this deal wouldnt have gone awry, a similar experience could have cost you a lot more in the future.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:40 pm
by brand
Honor killing. It's really the only reasonable thing to do.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:28 am
by Apex3
gijonas wrote:Not sure how old you are,and i realize a 100 bucks is something,but that is really nothing considering the lesson you get out of it.Ive had similar situations and let me tell you if it were over only a hundred dollars i would be happy.By the time you get the money your time invested will make it not worth it anyways,besides like you said you did forget about the money once already.Do it again.
"And one car in exchange for knowing what a man's made of, that's a price I can live with"
It's true though, consider it $100 to learn to be careful what you trust this guy with, maybe even learn that he's not your friend, and learn never to lend anyone money that you can't afford to lose, it's a recipe for disaster.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:03 am
by kimokalihi
Basically fuck him. He's a piece of shit. A couple of my friends were with him at the bike shop when he bought a new bike recently and asked him why he's not paying me back and buying another bike and he doesn't care.
He's lucky I don't ever see him. There's nothing I can do legally really so I'll probably end up doing nothing but it's hard to let it go. I'd go take my bike back from him but I'd rather not hassle with trying to sell it.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 3:31 am
by 93forestpearl
Kick him in the nuts and hit him in the head with a 2x4. Then wake up....
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 6:43 pm
by n2x4
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:34 am
by Mattheww044
Personally, I would probably ask him about it the next time you see him, and if he says he doesn't have it or whatever then tell him to give the bike back, and even if you cant sell it right away, at least you got your bike back, and it will probably be settled in your mind. And thats just one less person you have to worry about screwing you over again
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 6:14 am
by kimokalihi
Yeah but the bike is a piece of crap and I'd rather not have it then have it. I guess he just told my friend the other day he was going to give me his piece of crap snowboard. I don't want that either.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 7:46 am
by Mattheww044
haha, wow. I guess just be like straight about it. Be like dude, I WANT THE MONEY, i dont car if its $20 out of each paycheck, we made a deal and youve been dodging your end for far too long now.
Re: Need advice on a problem that's bothering me...
Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 8:22 am
by kimokalihi
I did that already. If I see him again I will certainly confront him about it but I dunno how much good it'll do. He's a lowlife. I was waiting for him to show up at my friend's place last week while I was over there but then he called and said he was in the next town at the taco bell and I didn't want to wait around that long so I went home.