This is how much leaked out in one day:

so I got myself a tarp along with the piece of cardboard I've been using:

You'll probably need a fluid receptacle, new ATF, a jack, some jackstands, and tools, like so:

And also a new gasket:

And also a refreshing beverage:

Yeah yeah I know it's evian but it's all my quasi-girlfriend will drink for some reason.
Crack the drain plug and then go do something else for awhile:

I did laundry.
Then you'll want to jack up the car to better reach the bottom of the pan.

See, there is tons more room.
Now wiggle under there and undo the seven million bolts that require a 10mm socket. I found a deep socket worked best. ATF will get EVERYWHERE.
This is where the magic happens:

Now put the sexy new gasket on and re-install.

Chilton's says 17-20 lb-ft. After I did that it was still leaking so I snugged them all down a bit more. Then I snapped off a bolt. Now it still leaks. Infuriating to say the least. It also seems to be leaking where the filler tube connects.
I guess I'll see how it works and then maybe ditch the gasket and use silicon. That's what the new Subarus use apparantly.
Follow-up:
I broght the car to a shop, and had them fix my broken bolt and seal the pan for $60.
The transmission still leaks, but not as much. I think it might be the seal on the front or the TC or maybe the housing is cracked. It's a piece of junk and I'm replacing it soon anyway. Can someone say neutral drops?