God this hurts...

[entirelyturbo]

Well, my girlfriend and I just broke up. Pretty much exactly 11 months (as of yesterday).

I knew it was coming, but it still hurts.

This wasn't just someone who was fun to hang around with and have sex with, I loved her. I know it sounds cliché, but she really was one in a million.

We're gonna see about still being friends, but I think it's gonna be too painful to hang out with her knowing she's not mine anymore.

I'll be fine. It's part of life. It's a lesson learned. But I might not be around for a little while.

I've been a wreck lately. This has been one of the worst years of my life. I need to get my head out of my ass, get through with college, get my finances in order, and *gasp* grow up. So I'll be working on that for the next few months.

[TheSubaruJunkie]

Welcome to the club dude. My girlfriend dumped me a few months back too. And i know how it is. Cause yeah, i loved her and all that stupid shit. But at least you saw it comming... i didnt.

Anyhow, keep your chin up. And trying to remain friends is only going to prolong the pain. Best thing to do is just forget she ever existed....

-Brian

[92ss satinsvoice]

well it depends, if you want to get her back. then all means give it a shot and dont give up. im trying to get my exgirl friend back and we've been broke up for about 2 months but i just started to try.

but if you dont want to wast the effort. then just for get she existed, but charish the good memory's you guys had together. if you want to get over her, brake chain's to anything that reminds you of her.

best of luck my friend, its a hard road to walk alone, but take the rout you want. take you time dude, the recovery will be slow and painful.

but what ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
the more things change, the more things stay the same.

best of luck man.

[TheSubaruJunkie]

Trying to get your ex back is a waste of time and emotions. There is a reason she dumped you, and if she will do it once, she will do it again.

I mean, dont get me wrong. It would be nice to have my ex-GF back. But im not going to try to change her mind, or change the way I am to suit her needs. If the relationship didnt work the first time, what makes you think it wont fail again?

THere are plenty of other fish in the sea. And if she is 1 in a billion, then that means there are at least 30 of her in the US alone.

[555BCTurbo]

Oh man, I am sorry to hear that Mike

Sounds like you have the correct attitude about it though, and know what you need to do to get yourself through it!



We're pullin' for ya!

[tris91ricer]

Sweet! So the next time I'm in orlando, I can take you out for drinks and we'll scope some sweet ass together with no guilt! (mami says I can look, but I can't touch unless she's invited too.)

Breakups suck a big one, they're one of the harder things about being a human and getting attached to people. The good news is that you're young, probably attractive, and you're going to college --that means you can meet other girls. But try to take a break, figure yourself out, know what it is you want, and give off some good vibes. The chicks will come to YOU.
And if all else fails, PRON!!!

I'm on your team, Mike.

[dzx]

sorry to hear that man. When I broke up with my gf I used it to make myself better in everyway I could. You can either let it weigh you down or use it to propel yourself.

[skid542]

Dude, I'm so sorry to hear that Mike. It sounds like you've got the right attitude to get through this.

I'm no expert when it comes to women but having seen enough friends go through some hard break-ups, including failed engagements, I know that it always works out for the best in the end. It sucks a big one to have to go through the break-up and the time afterwards but you'll move on and find a better woman.

Like others have said, use this to make yourself a better person and know that we're all pulling for you!

[entirelyturbo]

I got out of class early tonight, so I can give a little update.

Honestly, I'm not sure at this point whether this was a good or bad thing, but we had dinner last night. The intention was to bury the hatchet, she wanted to give me a few things, and we'd be on our way.

We had dinner and surprisingly got along better than we had in months. My guess is that we had come to terms with it and were somewhat relaxed, so there wasn't any pressure...

... until we got back to the car. She gave me what she wanted to give me, and then began to pull the promise ring off her finger, and she started crying.

After a little discussion (that lasted an hour) of how we were both blaming ourselves, and how we weren't really sure where we were (exes? friends? still a couple just having a fight?), we decided to arrange for another dinner meeting this Friday night, where a final decision would be made.

I realize the wisest thing to have done was just say it's over, keep the stuff you have, and no dinner last night. I realize I'm just making more heartache for myself by dragging this on.

But... there's still something there, or this wouldn't be so hard. And I'm having a really hard time ignoring that.

Feel free to e-slap some sense into me. I hate to be an emotional bitch, but I really can't make up my mind.

[skid542]

That's a tough situation to be in. If it doesn't go well then it's definately going to just drag things out and make it overall harder. But if you think you can really pull it out and make it worthwhile..., can't say that it's not worth another shot.

To sound cliche' - the only risks in life are the risks not taken

But to counter, and I don't know how long term you are looking at your life right now, but relationships only end up end in two ways - marriage or heartbreak.

Do what you feel you need to do so that if this is something that's not meant to be you're not left with questions. But I'd say there is a reason things got to where they are now. Even if you've identified what needs to be changed to make it, are you ready to change yourself/lifestyle enough to meet all those changes?

Good luck man.

[MPtyza]

I just went through the same thing last summer, with my girlfriend of about 3 years at the time. I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of when. When just so happened to be 3 days before my birthday.

Long story short, I did something I would normally never have done. It ended up in me having a record, and not a good one. I lied to her about it, as to not hurt her so I thought. She believed my until I went to the investigator's office, I figured that if I kept up the lie I was fucked moreso, so the truth came out, and she was shocked to find out what I was capable of. About a month later it came. I took it well until she left that night, then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Well I turned into the biggest asshole after that. Anytime I heard the new guy's name I'd be a dick about it. I hated the thought of anyone else being with her. Turns out he was screwing around with the chick he left to be with my ex, my ex found out and basically hasn't spoken to him since.

Before my incident we weren't getting along nearly as well as when we met. Every other time we saw each other ended up in arguement. I loved her, she loved me, but for some reason that's how it went.

We decided to be friends afterward. From the time we met she was my best friend. I hated the thought of losing the best damn friend I'd had. It was hard at times, but somehow I dealt with it. Ever since she left that asshat we've been getting closer again. Hell we might as well be back together now.

It may be possible to remain friends, just as long as you don't dwell on the fact that she's not with you anymore. That's where I went wrong. I'd say if you want to work things out, sure give it another shot, but if it doesn't work out, just leave it at that.

[SubaruNation]

[evolutionmovement]

But only 10-15% are fuckable and maybe 3% worth anything more than that.

[SubaruNation]

[entirelyturbo]

Had the dinner meeting, and it is now official, beyond the shadow of a doubt. We are no longer together.

She simply said she's not in love with me anymore. And I don't want her to do something she doesn't want to do.

I did make it clear that this was the point of no return, that we are not going to try again later, because I don't want to go through this again.
I saw it in her face that she was on the verge of crying, but she agreed to it.

So, that's that.

Tristan, I'd be more than happy to take you up on your offer, but I think I at least deserve a couple months of down time so I can regroup and get my shit back together. I'll be graduated by December, so I'll have much more time for such shenanigans.

Thanks all for the kind words. It really does mean a lot.

[thehookeup]

hey man, im sorry to hear it. it hurts. today is the anniversary of my eleventh apart. The situation has destroyed my insides for the past 11 months. we had been together two years, nearly married, i practically raised her little brother and sister, and had become family with her entire family. when she ended it, she just wasn't ending me and her, it was me losing everything surrounding us.

Its definetly been the hardest year of my life by far. I know that i have put myself in somewhat of a destructive pattern the past year. which i recently have been trying to pull myself out, and having success at it

i will say that having friends is the best thing to heal the wounds. i didn't have the luxury of close friends for a while because everyone had graduated from OSU and moved overseas, I had doug vincent haha, thats its. But now that friends are back, they help so much.

Time+friends+Positive thinking+keeping yourself busy= it will all be good

just to let ya know, im in the same boat

[Yukonart]

Good luck on remaining friends. Maybe the way shit went down for me is just a little on the extreme side (duh), but I can't see a way of my ex and I ever being friends again, let alone me be stupid enough to let her back into my personal life as a relationship.

Don't spend time wondering what she's doing or who she's seeing. Sometimes that hurts more than the breakup itself. Believe me, I know more than most.

Get out and do some shit you can do only as a single person. In the last year and a half I've done more than in the last five years combined. Could I have done that with her at my side? Maybe. . . but at least I didn't have to think about that after she sealed the deal and we parted ways forever.

[TheSubaruJunkie]

Being friends works out in some rare cases.

My immediate ex and I, i dont think i could remain friends. Only cause I fell in love with her so deeply, that I would go crazy seeing her and knowing I couldnt have her.

However, the EX before that... we are still great friends. I think it helped that we started our relationship as real good friends and things progressed from there. We were good friends for almost a year and then started dating. We dated for nearly 3 years before we decided to split up, and we have been real good friends (not even with benefits or anything) for the past 2 or 3 years. We even moved in with eachother after the breakup as room mates, and shared a home for a year before she met her current boyfriend and moved out.
To this day we are good friends and talk almost daily via AIM.

Lately I have been missing my immediate ex... ALOT. She broke up with me almost 4 months ago, and I dont think there has been a single day that I havent thought about her. Last I talked to her, she wanted to remain friends, and I told her i couldnt do it. Maybe it was a piece of me punishing her for the choice she made... maybe it was me affraid of seeing her with another guy in the future. But recently i have thought twice about the decision I made and had contimplated contacting her, and seeing if it would be possible to hang out or do "friend" type stuff.

But who would I be kidding? Its not in my interest to be her friend, but to be her lover and her soul mate. Two things she clearly gave up on the day she left me. So with that being said, I have nothing of interest in her and will continue to wallow in my depression. Until I have the courage to see myself with someone other than her. Which, to this day, I cannot see.

It sucks man. Love is a shitty thing.

-Brian

[Yukonart]

I hear you Brian . . . I've had my times, too. The thing that brings me back to reality is that my ex has changed so much since the breakup I KNOW I'd never want what she is now. I'm still longing for who she used to be. . .and knowing that person will never again exist makes it VERY easy for me to forget about her.

[evolutionmovement]

I'm still friends with my ex and she's married with 2 kids. There's shit between us that neither of us can get anywhere else. There were a few years we didn't talk much as it was difficult for both of us, but that's past now. I think the 2 kids really built a nice wall up that I have no intention of climbing. I really feel they're the worst VD you can get. I mean, look how long Magic Johnson's been alive with AIDS. Though I did hear from a Vietnam vet friend that there was this jungle VD like flesh-eating bacteria that would eat your junk before killing you. He says some of the MIAs are actually victims of that as the gov'ment tried to keep this disease at bay by not shipping them back. Anyway, if that one is real, that one would be worse than kids. Plus there's what the bastards do to some women's bodies. She stilll looks good, but I'd rather keep it to what I can see now and my memories of what she looked like underneath.

Anyway, there's things beyond sex and that's what I have with her. However, I have virtually no relationships with any other women since the connection I have with her can't be replicated and I won't bother with the aggravation of a relationship for anything less. Eh, sex isn't really a big deal anyway, it's just an evolutionary throwback and an unnecessary distraction and money drain for the most part today. I'm probably an extreme example of a misanthrope, but I've thrown away really hot chicks because I'd rather just be alone. At least I'm not the worst misanthrope I know - that would be a guy who purposely doesn't wear deodorant so people stay away from him (and this bugger REALLY smells). I still haven't decided if that's awesome or deranged, but I respect his initiative.

[TheSubaruJunkie]

Evolution you lost me at the VD stuff... but its cool, i dont need to hear the rest LOL

And ARt. I feel ya brother. Your EX did turn into a huge bitch... sorry you had to deal with it.

From my experience, 80% of females out there have had something really FUCKED up happen to them. And it only takes that 1 molestation, or that one suicide in the family, or that one abusive relation ship (ive dealt with them all [the girlfriend with problems, not my problems]) to REALLY FUCK UP a woman's mind. And once a woman's mind is fucked up, it seems they will never forgive or forget, and usually you (or I) am the one playing psychiatrist throughout the relationship.

Where are the wholesome girls, with loving family's and a solid foundation hiding?

-Brian

[Yukonart]

Where are the wholesome girls, with loving family's and a solid foundation hiding?

Obviously not on THIS board.

[TheSubaruJunkie]

Myspace either, take it from me

[evolutionmovement]

Where are the women that hate kids, can actually hold interesting conversations on any subject, and dream of being able to shoot idiots and sex offenders in the face?

[Yukonart]

Where are the women that hate kids, can actually hold interesting conversations on any subject, and dream of being able to shoot idiots and sex offenders in the face?

I've sort of found one of those. I'll keep you guys posted.