No stuck caliper, the rotors really were warped.
How embarrassing that I have two cars and still need to borrow someone else's to do the brake job

(the XT is still hidden in the garage). I had the front rotors turned and put some el cheapo pads on there, $20 for the fronts. I left the back alone.
Bedded them in right, went up to about 45mph, got on em hard until about 5, then coasted for a while. Then got a chance to do it a couple times from 60, so they're seated good already. They feel fantastic, these new pads seem to respond the slightest bit faster.
I also bled some of the old fluid out, coz it was so full of moisture that the BRAKE light would stay on all morning until the next time I drove it.
I went cheap this time, because I'm really just prepping the car for the Dragon. Upon returning, I'll probably get 4 new rotors and have the fronts cryo'ed, carbon metallic pads, and I might have a source on RS calipers, not sure yet though.