Aside from the rear rotors being all marred and covered with deposits, there was this little problem:

Can you see it?

The previous owner had the front rotors replaced with the wrong size. It's well known that Legacy Sport Sedans use larger-diameter front rotors but many parts manufacturers don't make the distinction when it comes to the Touring Wagon. I encountered this when hunting down parts online. Many websites incorrectly list the non-turbo rotors as being replacements for the Touring Wagons. I can only presume this leads ignorant shop monkeys to put non-turbo rotors parts on people's cars.
When paired with OEM-sized front pads, this is the result:

For future reference, I bought the rotors from eBay seller Dax Autoworks.
Fronts: Brembo 25370 / 26300AE071
Rears: Brembo 25581 / 26310AA151
Pads were OEM replacements from Tire Rack. As noted in the sticky here, front pads are D563 and rears are D471.